Micah shared a similar aspect of shame: “Before I fully came to terms with the fact I was gay, I felt a lot of shame and guilt about the ways in which I chose to explore my sexuality in private. I wasn't disgusted, but I wasn't sure if it was okay.”
I immediately shut the computer off and didn't return to the game for a few days, feeling uncomfortable with what had just happened. But video games offered me sanctuary.īisexual games writer Alyssa Mercante had a similar if not as explicit experience in The Sims 2, as she writes in Gamesradar of getting two female Sims to “tickle” each other: “I remember at the time furtively glancing over my shoulder to see if my noisy younger sister or even noisier parents were watching me play before swiftly clicking the 'kiss' option.They embraced and I smiled – but then embarrassment quickly set in. Growing up in the 00s, the main insult for everything was “gay”, and my home wasn’t a queer-friendly environment before I came out. When those inevitable feelings started bubbling up at puberty, bringing with it a tsunami of questions, heartbreak, and bad decisions, my immediate instinct was to push them down. I felt this, too, in my experience as a cisgender gay man. Exploring this was Alex’s first step toward understanding herself as a trans woman.” Aloy’s long red hair, her clothing, even the way that she stood felt liberating.” He continues: “Alex had always been called a man but wasn’t sure why this felt uncomfortable. He writes: “Alex explained that it was more than the usual fun of overcoming a fast-paced challenge. Another therapy client also discovered the cause of their dysphoria in Horizon: Zero Dawn.
Licensed Clinical Social Worker Andrew Fishman explains in Psychology Today how the choice between “Boy” and “Girl” in Pokémon was the first time one client was given the opportunity to ask what gender they were. This isn’t just some games-as-art discourse: video games are being used in a clinical setting to explore sexual and gender identity.
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